Faerie rings

The equinox has done its thing and the faeries are heading undergound. I have been baking like a lunatic: apple crisp, zuchini bread, oat bran muffins, tollhouse cookies, just to name a few. It's comforting. It's warm and sweet.
I changed the oil in the Z a couple weekends ago, but I've only had her out once since. I was horrified to find there were cobwebs on the mirror. I am afraid of her, or me. Instead I've been walking a lot and back to yoga. I've been to three movies this month which is more than I've been to in the previous year or two. I think I am in a funk.
I want to curl up somewhere quiet, in the desperate autumn sun. I want to hear my name whispered and feel cool, quivering fingertips against my temples. I want to be lied to. I want to be told that it will all work out. It will all be ok. I want that want, that addictive, sweetly serious want. Instead, I resist. I am so fucked.