Wednesday, October 25, 2006

countless

Oh I do believe
In all the things you say
What comes is better than what came before

And you'd better come come, come come to me
Lou Reed

i'll never forget calling and calling, lying on the floor crying. i got the point, eventually, and i scraped together some little bit of dignity and i began to move on. in one sense, i did a fine job of going away and in another i never really let it go. i need to do that again, now. it is not easy. i think i like the parts where i never really let go.
a couple of nights ago i did that desperate thing again, where i just dialed and dialed. there was no reply, no note or sign. it's obvious i need to go away. after i stopped the foolishness and turned out the light, i had a dream. it was a dream of such sweetness and innocence. it was pure and clean and delightful. i have played it over in my mind countless times.
i will play it over in my mind.

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