beautiful

conversations lately have me pondering the question of what people need and what they want and are there really differences between what he needs and what she needs from the one they look to. i don't think the differences are great. we need approval. we need to be something amazing and wonderful and life giving to the person we give our lives to. he does and she does. and we need to hear it and feel it without asking. and it can't come back handed or with conditions. and sometimes it comes as silent approval and sometimes it comes as an unsolicited verbal acknowledgement. maybe she needs to hear the positive critique more and maybe he needs to not have to listen to the negative critique more. but i think we all need a little less crap.
i spent half my adult life in a relationship where i was not good enough. i wasn't smart enough or pretty enough or capable enough. i worked a couple of jobs while i earned academic scholarships, took care of his grandmother, brought his children into the world and deflected the flirtations of my peers. the most disgusting thing i could think of during those years was letting that man fuck me. he told me i was frigid. i had a problem. and it made it ok for him to sleep with whomever he wanted. which made him more disgusting. truth is, i prefer to make love more often than i shower and i really like showers.
i think we all need to feel like the one we love thinks we are the bomb, that we just do it for that person. of course it takes an investment to find out what makes someone else feel that way. it will most certainly be different than what makes us feel that way. i think we should all have someone who dreams about us, hopes for us, lives to share bodily fluids with us. i think it is a beautiful vicious circle where making someone feel that way makes them want to make you feel that way.
that's what i think.