it's all good

Must Be My Surroundings

For dinner I had:
Mountain High Yoghurt
Niwot Honey
Udi's Lowfat Granola

Celestial Seasonings Tea
more Niwot Honey

Yeah, I'm lucky to live here.

how i spent my thanksgiving vacation

brutality

my friend tyler has cancer again. this is her third round.

i met tyler not long after i moved here, 14 years ago. her daughter, alex, and my son were playmates at the age of 2. when they were 5th, 6th and 7th graders they were best friends. alex went to disneyland with us.

tyler has been a very good friend to me. we've been through so much together: divorces and job changes and children, all those things where you wonder if you're making the right decision and having someone who is genuinely interested in your well-being can save you. i have seen her deal with so much: an abusive ex-husband, a troubled son, the suicide of that son and of course the brutality of cancer.

she is one of the kindest, most sincere and positive people i have ever met. i love tyler. i am so scared for her.

redrocks fullmoon

september 14
cat and me

z1000

she sold today. i guess i was right when i sat in the gravel on the side of the road a month ago and thought i would never ride her again.

monolith!

i am so excited for us to do something familiar and fun and normal like we haven't had in what seems like so long. i am so very, very excited!

heterochromia

only a little different

baila conmigo

heterochromia iridium

it's really quite entrancing

no stretch marks, just saggy boobs, but i am so much a better person because of you.

the sun is up
the sky is blue
it's beautiful and so are you...

look around

so fucked up

"Jon Carl Sandberg of Erie passed away Sunday, August 10, 2008 from injuries sustained from a motorcycle accident. He was 44.

He was born on July 9, 1964 to Jon Drew Sandberg and Karen Ruth Rover Sandberg in Chicago, Illinois. Jon received his B.S. in Physics from the University of Washington, in 1986 and his PhD in experimental physics with a specialization in lasers and optical measurements from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology in 1993. Jon was awarded a National Science Foundation Fellowship and an AT&T/Bell Labs Scholarship for graduate school. While at MIT, Dr. Sandberg served as a research liaison at the Max Planck Institute of Quantum Optics in Garching bei Muenchen, Germany. He worked at Research Electro Optics for 14 yrs. After leaving REO he went to Particle Measuring Systems.

Dr. Sandberg's life career involved research and development of laser and optic systems. He held multiple patents and submitted numerous research papers in lasers and cold traps both at University of Washington and MIT, and worked very closely with several Nobel prize winning physicists, including Dr. Hans Dehmelt at the University of Washington.

Jon's love of motorcycles was surpassed only by his love for his beautiful daughters. He was an excellent father and spent countless hours having fun with the joys of his life, Nikki and Jaime. All who met him know how much everyone really loved him. He will be truly missed.

Celebration of Jon's Life will be held Sunday, August 17, 2008 at 11 am at the Vista Ridge Community Center, 2750 Vista Parkway, Erie, CO.

Contributions may be made to the Nicole and Jaime Sandberg Education Fund at any FirstBank."

sometimes

someone shows up at the nearest airport to help you find your sanity. sometimes she's on crutches and her leg looks like your heart feels and she walks about as well as you can think, but at least you can believe things are going to heal for both of you.

what he gave me:

i believed again.

makes you wanna buy a new sweater in the middle of summer

no genius here. these guys are dumb as a bucket of guppies. but it's a cute tune and the lyrics sum up the whole of life's queries :)

it's all good

to Grand Lake/Spirit Lake

Can't wait!
Can't wait!
Can't wait!

One of the finest things in the world is sitting on the back of a big ol' ATV while my son rips us around on steep mountain trails. Or lounging in the bow of a little aluminum boat while he tries to figure out the mechanics of outboard steering on an enormous, deep mystic lake.

Can't wait.

back by popular demand

road trip: mcallen to morrison

mmorpg

did you know, i'm boltofblue65?

sometimes,

people do things that are wonderful.

oh yeah.

red, floor length prom dress
$99.00

crystal drop earings and necklace
$22.50

crystal hair accessories
$21.50

small boutonnière with red rose and black ribbon
$9.95

nail polish to match
$7.50

she already has shoes.

i still believe it could happen again. no, really, i do.

The place I saw was far beneath
The surface of the sea.
My sight was poor
But I was sure
The sirens sang their songs for me.
They dance above me as I sink
I see them through a crystal haze
And hear them bouncing round the room
The never ending coral maze.

That time and once again I'm bouncing around the room.

who knew?

change is good.

and Cat is dying without AC

MAR 16 2008 ...HEAVY SNOW WARNING IN EFFECT FROM MIDNIGHT TONIGHT TO 3 PM MDT MONDAY FOR THE FRONT RANGE AND ADJACENT HIGH PLAINS IN NORTHEAST COLORADO... THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE IN DENVER HAS ISSUED A HEAVY SNOW WARNING...WHICH IS IN EFFECT FROM MIDNIGHT TONIGHT TO 3 PM MDT MONDAY. THE WINTER STORM WATCH IS NO LONGER IN EFFECT. SNOWFALL WILL BE HEAVY AT TIMES LATE TONIGHT AND MONDAY...WITH TOTAL SNOW SNOW ACCUMULATIONS RANGING FROM 8 TO 16 INCHES IN THE THE FRONT RANGE AND FOOTHILL AREAS...

thoughts while listening to Beck

there are people who have faked their own death. to start a new life? so their family can cash in on their life insurance? there must be other reasons, too. i think a lot of people dream about it.

but what about the people who fake their own life? what's the motivation for that?

i need a good, stiff drink

or something.

that meatloaf really looks disgusting.

happy v-day!

for dinner, my son and i made a heart shaped meat loaf. it was fun and delicious:

my daughter, who has a boyfriend and is even happy about it, suggested the unique carving design.

on this day

15 years ago at approximately 6:37am, i gave birth to my son. he came into this world weighing 11 pounds, 13 ounces and i consider our survival of the event quite an accomplishment for both of us.

don't lean on me, man

because of a comic strip, i am waiting up on a saturday night to be summoned by cell phone to a high school. until about 15 minutes ago, i had always thought sadie was a suffragette.

Sadie Hawkins was the daughter of one of Dogpatch's earliest settlers, Hekzebiah Hawkins. When she reached the age of 35, still a spinster, her father in desperation called together the eligible bachelors of Dogpatch and declared that day to be Sadie Hawkins Day and that "when ah fires [my gun] all o' yo' kin start a-runnin! When ah fires agin - after givin' yo' a fair start - Sadie starts a runnin'. Th' one she ketches'll be her husband.

that makes two of us

who don't feel this is the destination of our fate

what

day is this?

salt on that?

this evening i needed to call a buddy and go have a margarita and a tamale or whatever and shake off the day. i really needed to do this. but i don't have a buddy i can call to do this with. so i had a margarita and brought mexican take-out home for my kids. it was a pretty good substitute, but it made me realize that i need to expand my social circle.

really

yesterday, i had a long drawn-out conversation with the office manager at the veterinary hospital where i have been showing up regularly with my small b&w cat since the great tragedy of october 2nd. i was trying to express my dissatisfaction with their estimate and billing process which have ended up not matching by about a thousand dollars. in my mind there's a big difference between $3400 and $4400. but that's another story. the point is that during our conversation, she engaged a stance that i employ, which is by systematically reminding my customer of points that any intelligent person would have been aware of, i negate any complaint they may have about the course of our business. well, i didn't like the way it felt, even though i can't say she did anything wrong other than trying to make me feel like an idiot to avoid having to empathize or take responsiblity.

today i got a call from a ranting customer and i thought i'd try something different. i went back to a time when i had a job that didn't have as much pressure or expectation and i bent over backwards to help this woman. she was being dumb and she was being angry and condescending, but i didn't return it. i went way outside what i'm paid to do. the whole thing went much better than it would have otherwise.

i haven't always had this critical approach. i'm not sure when i changed the way i handle other people's problems. i still step up when i know i have caused the problem. when did i stop stepping up when it is someone else's problem? i think, maybe i just have too much responsibility in all areas of my life and i just don't make myself available to take care of any more. i'm afraid i can't handle much more.

which is sad, really.

however,

this one is the best thing i've seen.

good

geez. the holiday season has come and gone. it was a good one, full of "all is calm and all is bright." i haven't had much to say lately and it looks like 2008 is starting the same way. everything is good, just really good. and i'm good with that.