really

yesterday, i had a long drawn-out conversation with the office manager at the veterinary hospital where i have been showing up regularly with my small b&w cat since the great tragedy of october 2nd. i was trying to express my dissatisfaction with their estimate and billing process which have ended up not matching by about a thousand dollars. in my mind there's a big difference between $3400 and $4400. but that's another story. the point is that during our conversation, she engaged a stance that i employ, which is by systematically reminding my customer of points that any intelligent person would have been aware of, i negate any complaint they may have about the course of our business. well, i didn't like the way it felt, even though i can't say she did anything wrong other than trying to make me feel like an idiot to avoid having to empathize or take responsiblity.

today i got a call from a ranting customer and i thought i'd try something different. i went back to a time when i had a job that didn't have as much pressure or expectation and i bent over backwards to help this woman. she was being dumb and she was being angry and condescending, but i didn't return it. i went way outside what i'm paid to do. the whole thing went much better than it would have otherwise.

i haven't always had this critical approach. i'm not sure when i changed the way i handle other people's problems. i still step up when i know i have caused the problem. when did i stop stepping up when it is someone else's problem? i think, maybe i just have too much responsibility in all areas of my life and i just don't make myself available to take care of any more. i'm afraid i can't handle much more.

which is sad, really.