Ice

Boulder is a town with a lot of money. Downtown are upscale shops, attorneys, architectural firms and nearly every investment firm in the U.S. Boulder also has a laid back, casual attitude and dress code which means if you see a man in a suit he is absolutely, without a doubt, a stock broker. Today I was downtown sitting at a light adjacent to a beautiful new business building which has a small, seasonal ice rink in its plaza. There was a man skating comfortably around the ice with the ease you see in a hockey player. He had his hands in his pockets and he was wearing a very large halloween type afro wig as well as a nicely tailored business suit. It was below freezing, but he looked content. He must have been on his lunch hour.

It made me feel so alone. I watched him skate and I was struck with the realization that I need to find some company. I need a little sweetness beyond what my kids and friends offer. It is time for me to find a man to have dinner and a show and perhaps a romp with on a Friday night. This martyr shit needs to stop. I 'm not asking for much: time or effort or qualities. I don’t care what he looks like or does for a living. I don’t care what he weighs or how tall he is. He doesn’t need to have much time or money or social finesse. I would require a certain level of personal hygiene, I suppose. How hard could it be to find someone with a reasonable level of intelligence and a sense of humor? And he has to be kind. Above all, I really need kind. In fact forget the other stuff. I just need to find a man to spend a few hours a week with me, who enjoys my company. Right now that seems so far away.