all over again

i can already see how it's not going to go- how it's not going to work, i could see it the night we met and talked and drank iced tea for 4 hours while the snow fell fat outside the restaurant window on the city's streets. i had to drive 30 miles back home after he walked me to my car and the further north i went, the worse the roads were and i thought to myself, he's real nice- i would see him again and he called me and so it went.

last night in the dark he told me about her and how she fucked him over and how she would only talk about herself and he asked me what's that word? and i said narcisist? and he said yeah, that's it and that's how she was and how her daddy had money and in the beginning when they were both still married and she was trying to get him to leave his wife so she could leave her husband and she would pay $285 for a room they would only use three hours and how he was better at sneaking around than she was 'cuz her husband would somehow mysteriously find out when and where they were meeting and show up and she got mad because he wouldn't beat the shit out of her husband. he'd just wait in the car. and i told him about this guy of 20 years and i thought he was the one but he was fucking his wife when he said he wasn't and she got pregnant about the time he was sleeping with me and in the dark he said wow, that's even more fucked up than my story and i said yeah it was pretty bad and he said don't worry this summer is going to be better than the last and i thought how will he know? and i thought how could it not be?